contagious emotions...

Call it coincidence or what! But among my close girl friends in the office, almost all of them are in the state of loneliness right now. I've heard all there stories and the pain that they've felt caused by the break up or by the physical separation from there loved ones. As a friend I was trying to be a crying shoulder and lending my ears for them to be able to let out what is there that is in their hearts and minds. I myself have my own weariness and loneliness but thanks God I have my cousin and a best friend at home whom I can tell whatever it is that's bothering me. And who always cheers me up when I am sad and lonely.

But what sounds silly was that after hearing all their stories, suddenly I felt some emptiness in me. Was I absorbing all the emotions they've felt. It was past 12 am already and still I can't sleep. I've called up my close friends just for nothing. Jen who knows me for quite a long time was even shocked why I was calling her at that wee hour knowing that I usually went early to sleep on weekdays. She instantly said "got some problems? Okey whatever it is I am willing to listen."I even sent a message to my officemate just telling him how I felt. Absorber as I am! Well that only shows I am that vulnerable yet trying to be invincible.

hope i am wrong

I hope I am wrong with my doubts because I don’t think I’d still want to befriend them still if I’ll find out that I am right. Not to praise my own self but I know I am a good person and if ever the goodness is being used and abused, well then sorry cause you’ll definitely not going to see any shadow of me or hear anything from me. Hope I am just being paranoid.

Secret Revealed.... :(

And I was on the hot seat again! My secret was revealed. We were on a night out with my two other officemates, just having a cup of coffee in a newly opened night market in the city after having our dinner at a Thai restaurant. After an hour of sitting outside the coffee shop and making a comment to the passersby, the lights were turned on me. I was kinda nervous when one of my officemate says she got one question for me and is hoping for a straight answer. And the question was fired which made me admit the truth. I know they know the answers already they just want a confirmation. Well, I trust the two ladies and I know that my secret is safe with them. Not that big deal actually it’s just that I don’t want everyone to know about it. I was glad to hear their feedbacks anyway.

the wedding......

The day we’ve all been waiting for has come. The wedding day of my friend (bride) and of my cousin (groom). Few months ago the barkada were so busy in helping the preparations, from the completion of the entourage, to the reception, printing of the invitation cards, making of the give aways and to the minute detail of the occasion to make it more meaningful and memorable.

The wedding ceremony starts at 2pm and I was so glad seeing the couple so excited and happy. You can see it in their eyes the love that’s burning inside (char!). But my sympathy was on the x-bf of the bride which happens to be my nephew (pamangkin sa pag agawan cause his mom is my first degree cousin). Somewhat I can relate to how he feels at that time. Though he was saying that he was over with her and he is perfectly fine, he cannot deny the fact that by just looking at him there’s still this pang of pain in his heart. During the wedding ceremony, on the exchanging of vows I saw him trying not to listen on the “I do’s” and was starting to make a conversation to the person next to him. Maybe by not hearing the “I do’s” would somehow lessen the pain he felt. What ate my heart out when I’ve heard somebody at my back saying “pity on him” (referring to the x bf). Hearing those words made me realized that I was definitely right with my decision as to not to attend to my ex-bf ‘s wedding cause you can’t help the people around you especially those who knew the story of your lovelife to feel pity or sorry on you no matter how you tried to insist that you are absolutely fine and was able to get over with it already.

Well, to the newly wed, best wishes! You’ve got my prayers. And to the ex-bf, may you’ll find the girl made by heaven for you.