excited for the weekend...

Though I don't have any outing plans for the weekend but still I'm excited since this means no work, no worries and can take a lot of sleep. Oh yeah, I got a birthday party to attend, almost forget about it. And will do some tutorials to Janice on some stuff.

Though I wanna go somewhere but my funds doesn't permit me so. :(

Anyways, that's it for now...

Have a great weekend...

together again.... (Waaaaaaa)

I called him up and told him that we must meet and talk since I just broke to him that we'll cool off for the meantime through chat. I insisted that we should meet even if it sounds like he doesn't want to. Primary reason is for us to talk things out. I met him at the office where he used to work, he was asked to help them on some problems with their website that is why he was there. When I arrived he just welcomed me his warm embrace. He embrace me so tight that I barely can breathe. Then I realize I am missing him so much, did he miss me too? I believe so. He looks so tired then, I don't know if he had slept last night. Seeing him again and feeling his warm embrace made me tell myself that I'd still wanna stay with him and work the relationship out. Hope he feels the same.

Actually, we really feel the same way since there was never lots of talks done, we just agreed to have everything back to normal. So no need to waste any words or explanation whatsoever.

Business as usual... :)

friends indeed!!

I've always been grateful that I am surrounded with lots of real friends. Whom I can count on through good times and bad times. Thanks for ALWAYS being there guys... luv yah.. mwah..

cool off....

Yes, we just decided to cool it off. Don't know for how long or will we be back in each other's arms again....Only Heaven knows.. Though I initiated the action since I feel like he needs some space and time to think of things but still there's pain and fear that I felt. Fear of losing him forever and pain since for some time now I have learned to love him too. As much as I'd like to take back what I've just said a while ago but then I have to be strong and stick to my words.I don't know if this is right but this is the least thing I could think of right now.

My regret was why I was doing it through chat. I could have just have it face to face with him. But still I planned to talk to him in person about this.

Well, for what will be the future, I just let things fall into place, if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be.

despite the typhoon....

A typhoon was said to strike tonight and my papa did not allow me to go for work since work hours start at 11pm till 8am of the following day.

Funny or silly it is that despite the heavy rain and the strong winds, me and my boyfriend still managed to see other. We just can't get through the night without seeing and hugging each other tight....(hehehe) We met at the mini grocery store nearby our place and after buying a box of pizza , we proceeded to his place...watch a teleseries, modify my blog, and a little chit chats with his house mates.

An hour after, he sends me home cause cinderella has to go home before 12 midnight strikes (hehehe). Actually my papa sends me a sms that I need to be home now cause of the bad weather (how old am I that I am still alarmed with my papa's sms?? duh... papa's gurl!). As much as we'd like the night not to end and still be together but then we have to separate ways now..

Till next time! (mwah!) :)

wasn't able to make it...

My plan of breaking up or probably a cool off depending on what we'll agreed on was a failure. I wasn't able to make it. (loser)

Had a heart to heart talk with him after a dinner and pour out half of my emotions. I was quite tongue tied then, my thoughts & feelings were not all put into words.How I wish he could just read all of them and so there is no need for me to express it. All the things that I've memorized were vanished in the air. Probably because I don't want to hurt, worse, pressure him with our relationship. That's the last thing that I'm gonna do. Though somehow it sounds like I am pressuring him now.

At some instances, he has a point why all the things that I want would not happen that quickly. Which made me realize he is a man who respects others feelings and that he has a big heart and a gentle man. Gentle man or he just still loves her that much till now? Possibly yes, pity me and lucky her. How I wish I am the only one who occupies that big heart of his and what he feels for her right now is just a respect to the past and sympathy for the one in grief.... (sigh)

sick and tired...

I've come to realize that this is totally unfair... I don't wanna be treated like this. Tears are running down through my cheeks and I don't care if my officemates would saw me this way. I’ve tried to understand everybody elses side but what about mine? I just can no longer handle this. I need to think of myself too.. And I guess my understanding & patience for them is all up to now.

I can't just remain hidden forever. He can't even afford to post a single pic of us together to his friendster account. So sick and tired of this situation. And I have a feeling I'm the only one who is proud of this relationship. Damn it!

Pity on me... but no... self pity has no place in my personality. I should come up with a firm decision the soonest possible. I can’t endure being hidden forever. If he can’t be proud of me might as well put an end to all of these. Might be painful but for sure with God’s grace I’ll get over this.