tired and confused...

I don't know if I still have to pursue this feeling that I've felt right now. So confusing and so vague. Sometimes I wanna keep the fight but then sometimes I feel like tired and wanted to give up. Though I always said that I won't just give in without a fight this time. Not now and no longer. Twice is enough and I can't just afford to lose this time without even finding the truth. Complicated it is but I must go on with this. Maybe I could give a time frame, if things are not turning out the way I wanted it to be, might as well move on and get a life of my own. If only I could just say stop and everything else will follow, if only my mind is that powerful over my heart. If only............