Friday, June 27, 2008
Though I wanna go somewhere but my funds doesn't permit me so. :(
Anyways, that's it for now...
Have a great weekend...
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Actually, we really feel the same way since there was never lots of talks done, we just agreed to have everything back to normal. So no need to waste any words or explanation whatsoever.
Business as usual... :)
Monday, June 23, 2008
My regret was why I was doing it through chat. I could have just have it face to face with him. But still I planned to talk to him in person about this.
Well, for what will be the future, I just let things fall into place, if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Funny or silly it is that despite the heavy rain and the strong winds, me and my boyfriend still managed to see other. We just can't get through the night without seeing and hugging each other tight....(hehehe) We met at the mini grocery store nearby our place and after buying a box of pizza , we proceeded to his place...watch a teleseries, modify my blog, and a little chit chats with his house mates.
An hour after, he sends me home cause cinderella has to go home before 12 midnight strikes (hehehe). Actually my papa sends me a sms that I need to be home now cause of the bad weather (how old am I that I am still alarmed with my papa's sms?? duh... papa's gurl!). As much as we'd like the night not to end and still be together but then we have to separate ways now..
Till next time! (mwah!) :)
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Had a heart to heart talk with him after a dinner and pour out half of my emotions. I was quite tongue tied then, my thoughts & feelings were not all put into words.How I wish he could just read all of them and so there is no need for me to express it. All the things that I've memorized were vanished in the air. Probably because I don't want to hurt, worse, pressure him with our relationship. That's the last thing that I'm gonna do. Though somehow it sounds like I am pressuring him now.
At some instances, he has a point why all the things that I want would not happen that quickly. Which made me realize he is a man who respects others feelings and that he has a big heart and a gentle man. Gentle man or he just still loves her that much till now? Possibly yes, pity me and lucky her. How I wish I am the only one who occupies that big heart of his and what he feels for her right now is just a respect to the past and sympathy for the one in grief.... (sigh)
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I've come to realize that this is totally unfair... I don't wanna be treated like this. Tears are running down through my cheeks and I don't care if my officemates would saw me this way. I’ve tried to understand everybody elses side but what about mine? I just can no longer handle this. I need to think of myself too.. And I guess my understanding & patience for them is all up to now.
I can't just remain hidden forever. He can't even afford to post a single pic of us together to his friendster account. So sick and tired of this situation. And I have a feeling I'm the only one who is proud of this relationship. Damn it!
Pity on me... but no... self pity has no place in my personality. I should come up with a firm decision the soonest possible. I can’t endure being hidden forever. If he can’t be proud of me might as well put an end to all of these. Might be painful but for sure with God’s grace I’ll get over this.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Hope this time, things will be better. Less misunderstandings and focused more on how to build the relationship stronger.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Our 2-day vacation wasn't as exciting and romantic as I've expected it to be. Just as I thought was the perfect night for us : lying at the beach and feeling the sea breeze with all the stars in heaven when something very unexpected came up. Well, should I say not that unexpected because somehow I have some suspicions that something fishy is really going on, blamed it to women's intuition. And probably God doesn't want me to fooled for a long time and so He find ways for it to be revealed. Intellectually, I know what I am supposed to do but my emotions are overpowering me.In my whole existence, I never thought I could be this "tanga" and forgiving. But then everybody deserves a second chance so might as well give him the chance too...