My plan of breaking up or probably a cool off depending on what we'll agreed on was a failure. I wasn't able to make it. (loser)
Had a heart to heart talk with him after a dinner and pour out half of my emotions. I was quite tongue tied then, my thoughts & feelings were not all put into words.How I wish he could just read all of them and so there is no need for me to express it. All the things that I've memorized were vanished in the air. Probably because I don't want to hurt, worse, pressure him with our relationship. That's the last thing that I'm gonna do. Though somehow it sounds like I am pressuring him now.
At some instances, he has a point why all the things that I want would not happen that quickly. Which made me realize he is a man who respects others feelings and that he has a big heart and a gentle man. Gentle man or he just still loves her that much till now? Possibly yes, pity me and lucky her. How I wish I am the only one who occupies that big heart of his and what he feels for her right now is just a respect to the past and sympathy for the one in grief.... (sigh)